Skip to content. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Danica's Pole Position 8. It reminds him that he never got to finish a race. Al Unser Jr. Why didn't the two Alfa Romeo owners say hi to each other when they met at the bar?Because they saw each other at the mechanic's earlier that day. because no-one else would be able to ketchup. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" What do you call a German electric car?A Voltswagen. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. So I called him a racist. Q: Why Do Rednecks Only Drive On A Racetrack? Why are fans from Finland critical to motor racing? Q: How can you tell when a nascar fan is watching a Formula One race? Cargo, who? Q: What would Dale Earnhardt be doing if he was alive today? What do you call fans who love Formula 1 and hate NASCAR? Jeff Gordon is out taking a stroll in the snow. What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?Carpet. A: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks When a BMW owner learns to driveWhat kind of car do they switch to? Renato who? 4. Colin. Hell What is the main difference between BMWs and Porcupines?Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?A Holly Davidson! Have the scanner open so all the cars can talk just for safety, and then have him at the wheel with his copilot and open scanner. Matt Kenseth's car breaks down on the Interstate, so "9:12" eases over onto the shoulder. Did you know that Ford is making a new heated tailgate?Its so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it back home in the winter. Anyhows, it doesn't matter if you are driving a Model S, a 1990 Dodge Charger, or your partner mad, funny car jokes will surely tickle one's pickle, whichever the case is. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Have you heard about the Nascar driver thats in the KKK? What kind of car do frogs like best?A Beetle! I couldn't image running laps with the '87 cars. The Camaro is a nice car, don't get me wrong, but my Volt does have the same torque as her Camaro. It always takes a left turn. There are two types of people in this world, those who drive and those who exploit those who do. I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland? The top gear UK segment on NASCAR is great and centers around countering those ideas. What happened when the French vehicle sponsored by the Brie manufacturers got wrecked? 98% of all Jeeps ever made are still on the road today. 3.My business. "Ever since my wife found them in my glove compartment." Anniversary Present Did you hear about the Yoga class for electric cars? Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. So the turns are all right all right all right. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved that would be a tragedy." Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. Oh, and that is at zero RPM. Gradually, the championship moved away from its philosophy of participation of purely production cars - high speeds and asymmetric loads required modifications to improve safety. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Blue Nun wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." The buyer responds: "When I sat in Fiat 500, my knees covered my ears.". Why did the tomato driver lose against the lettuce? The Gran Purr-ismo. Here's my joke. Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks, And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR. My 35-year boycott of Ferrari and Lamborghini is still going strong! 49. So, if you are into the roaring, rumbling, scraping, or screeching, someone who can't pipe down when it comes to autos, or just someone who doesn't mind a funny joke about cars, you are in for a greasy treat. He could not warm up. Kids may not know how to drive, but that doesnt stop them from loving cars any less. ._1QwShihKKlyRXyQSlqYaWW{height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:bottom}._2X6EB3ZhEeXCh1eIVA64XM{margin-left:3px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;padding:0 4px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;margin-left:0;padding:0 4px}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;box-sizing:border-box;line-height:14px;padding:0 4px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH,._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{display:inline-block;height:16px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-body);border-radius:50%;margin-left:5px;text-align:center;width:16px}._2cvySYWkqJfynvXFOpNc5L{height:10px;width:10px}.aJrgrewN9C8x1Fusdx4hh{padding:2px 8px}._1wj6zoMi6hRP5YhJ8nXWXE{font-size:14px;padding:7px 12px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y{border-radius:20px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:hover{opacity:.85}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:active{transform:scale(.95)} Motorsport racing has garnered a reputation as one of the most fan-friendly sports in the world. Jimmie is gone for about an hour when he returns. Not so sure about that a lot of them have a checkered past. A: On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside! The first kid says, "I'd like to go to Disneyland." He's a racist. Completely different sports but dont see why your friends cant appreciate the skill, technique, and dedication required in both sports. Its been a long time since someone gave me such a stress test! Because would all go al-right, al-right, al-right. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. 12. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} When you get hit by a guitar truck, is it a fender-bender? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Working at a Land Rover factory is so interesting.I make a new Discovery every day. Q: What is the difference between Tony Stewarts car and a porcupine? Did you know that Ford is making a new heated tailgate? How do you know a car is a good price?If it is a-Ford-able. See more ideas about car humor, racing quotes, dirt track racing. What type of car do sheep like to drive?A Lamborghini! Q: What dont drivers eat before a big race? Wanted: A man who has been stealing wheels from police cars. I feel like Im one of the few folks who likes NASCAR and soccer. You Can't Handle the Truex 2. If a tire can go on the wrong side, it will. [1]jokes4us auto racing jokes jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_9490_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_9490_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Yellowjokes nascar joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_9490_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_9490_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]punstoppable NASCAR Puns jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_9490_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_9490_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); The Top 78 NASCAR Quotes You Should Know | Les Listes. What kind of cars do cooks drive?Chef-rolets. 28. They are trained to look for red flags. A Sprint Cup race is on a TV. 6. Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. He is wearing a bra and a lace garter belt. What is the main difference between BMWs and Porcupines? I really need to get my car fixed.What body shop do you wreck-amend? One advertises there sponspors and the other keeps it hidden! asks The Rainbow Warrior, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Now instead of making left turns, they're going all right, all right, all right. The bartender says "WOW! Mark Martin, Rusty Wallace and Dale Earnhardt found themselves in hell. Why would the penguins make good F1 drivers? None of them could finish a single lap at speed. 3. 53. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?Tyrannosaurus wrecks. He told Kyle that the next time hes on the beach to put him a potato in his trunks and the ladies will gather round. It was multi-colored with plenty of rust and primerdirty interior..and you could smell it even over the Brimstone. 10. Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks, What professional sport would be more fun to watch if the athletes drank alcohol during? ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{position:relative;background-color:0;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:before{content:"";position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border-radius:9999px;background:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);opacity:0}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover:before{opacity:.08}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus{outline:none}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus:before{opacity:.16}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI._2Z_0gYdq8Wr3FulRLZXC3e:before,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active:before{opacity:.24}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{cursor:not-allowed;filter:grayscale(1);background:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} Im not a fan of NASCAR but I hear its popular in some circles. Held on rough dirt-surfaced tracks, dirt track racing carries several deadly characteristics, such as inadequate barriers, lack of head and neck protective equipment, and below-average medical response. A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. 64. How much should you spend on audio, video, HDMI, and network cables? If Dodge made an electric carWould it be called a Dodge Chargeable? How would you rate the quality of the article? .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} 56. 47. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! How can you call them the best players in the world if its normal for an entire team of the best players to go an entire game without scoring a single goal?, My favorite one for soccer (even though I can enjoy watching it) is "If I wanted to watch people struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd take my friends to a bar.". 8. 21. He's about to leave when he sees Dale Earnhardt Jr and says " I don't understand, I did what you said and now NO WOMEN will come anywhere near me!" Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks A ten-vehicle dirt track pileup will never happen behind you. Things ended up getting X rated, so I thought it better to just LEAF them alone. The Most Awesome Race Car Toys And Tracks For The Kid Obsessed With Racing. Q: What is Kevin Harvick's favorite color? WebMonogram School Scool Bus Tom Daniel Funny car 1/24 MODEL CAR MOUNTAIN KIT fs. Whats the difference between a presidential election and a nascar race? My Subaru accidentally skidded over the bridge.I guess its now a Scuba-ru. The Champ looks at Dale Earnhardt Jr and says, "When he comes to, tell him that's 'Crowbar from Lowe's'." 42. Well, Jeff made him go up to the farm house and apologize. 43. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be a accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!" What do you call a guy who always loses his car?Carlos. What do you need to be able to drive in the outback?You need to show koala-fications. But how will drivers know theyve entered the last lap of the race? Q: What would Dale Earnhardt be doing if he was alive today? but I hear it's popular in some circles. What does NASCAR stand for? Apparently he hasn't passed anything for almost 2 years! Why is NASCAR a white dominated sport? A: For identification. 3. Knock, knock! After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Danica Patrick, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone." The voice of the Devil was heard: "Mark, YOU HAVE SINNED!!! It was mentioned in the bible!The apostles were all in Accord. Apparently NASCAR fans didnt want to mix the races. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Tony Stewart, Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon crashed into a mountain, that would be a tragedy." If a piano player is called a pianist, wouldnt a racecar driver be called a racist? One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." Hilarious Nascar Jokes That Will Make You Laugh - YellowJokes Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. 2019 included two separate NASCAR April Fools Day jokes. Why couldnt the frog find where he parked his car? Well, as I said to another comment: if they can make fun of our sport, it's only right for us to do the same to theirs. When do we want them? Definitely not me expressing my frustration about fuel prices through an article at work. Q: Why Do Rednecks Only Drive On A Racetrack? The Priest agrees completely, so Matt opened the bottle took 3 big drinks and then handed the bottle to the priest. Why do Swiss drivers have the least number of Formula 1 victories? To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian too." "Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties." Have you tried them yet? I've seen a few youtubers try them out and they seem brutal. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. one advertises there sponspors and the other keeps it hidden! And he's making racers drive the opposite direction. knocks him off the stool and onto the floor. Politicians should be required to dress like NASCAR drivers. "Viper, YOU HAVE SINNED. 20. This Fathers Day, Busch Beer, as part of its sponsorship of Kevin Harvick and his No. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} Apparently he hasnt passed anything for almost 2 years! Ridin' the Kahne Train 11. NASCAR had their 2010 overview today which means its just about that time of year. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. That's My Bowyer Clint Bowyer at Daytona. What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth? What did the traffic light say to the car? A: In case they get indy-gestion. Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races. With patches all over their suits telling us who their sponsors are. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. What is a cars preferred mobile phone brand? $89.88 + $17.05 shipping.